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Player development conversations: how to prepare and run them

· 3 min read

Development conversations are one of the places where the difference between a good club and a poor one is clearest — and where the difference is rarely about the coach's ability, but about their preparation.

A conversation built on memory becomes a conversation about the last two matches. A conversation built on notes from the whole season becomes a conversation about development.

When

Two or three times a year is enough for most youth teams:

  • Early in the season — expectations, both ways
  • Midway — adjustment
  • After the season — summing up and next steps

Outside the fixed points: whenever something changes materially. Playing time, role, or if the player seems unhappy.

Preparation: the ten minutes that decide the rest

Write three things down before the conversation:

  1. Two specific things the player has got better at. With examples. "You have got better at pressing" is not enough. "Against Valby you went the last few metres in the press three times in the first half — you did not do that in the spring" is.
  2. One thing to work on. One.
  3. One question you do not know the answer to.

If you cannot write point 1 without searching, that is not the player's problem. It is a sign the observations were never written down along the way.

The structure

Start with the player. "How do you think it is going?" Then let the silence sit. Most young people fill it themselves if you wait about five seconds longer than is comfortable.

Then your observations. Specific, with examples, and about actions rather than the person.

Then the development point. One. Phrased as something to try, not as a deficiency.

Finish with an agreement. What will you both be looking at by the next conversation? Write it down, and bring it out next time. That single thing is what makes players believe the conversations mean anything.

Four traps

The feedback sandwich. Praise, criticism, praise. Everyone over eleven has seen through it, and it teaches the player to ignore the praise to get to what is coming in the middle.

Comparison with teammates. "Look at how Emil does it." It never works as intended.

Playing-time conversations that are not about playing time. If the player is playing less, say so directly, say why, and say what it would take. Anything else reads as dishonest — and the parents hear the honest version at home anyway.

Five development points. See above. One.

If you are nervous about the conversation

It is usually because you have to say something uncomfortable and have no evidence ready. The evidence is the solution. Specific observations over time turn a difficult conversation into a factual one.

It is also why writing observations down as you go pays off most at the development conversations — not at the individual session.

A simple template

Player:
Period:

Has got better at (with example):
1.
2.

We are working on:
1.

Player's own assessment:

Agreement for next conversation:

Print it, or keep it on your phone. Fifteen minutes per player, and a squad of eighteen is done in two evenings.

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